Unseen Warfare: Part I

Anyone can see clearly how people behave and how far they are from true perfection, if he looks at their life and character. As a rule sinful people always wish to be preferred above others; they love to live according to their own will and are always stubborn in their decisions; they are blind in everything relating to themselves, but are very clear-sighted and officious in examining the words and actions of others. If another man is held by others in the same esteem, which in their opinion they enjoy, they cannot bear it and become manifestly hostile towards him; if anyone interferes with them in their pious occupations and works of asceticism, especially in the presence of others,-God Forbid!-they immediately become indignant, boil over with wrath and becomes quite unlike themselves.

If, desirous of bringing them to self-knowledge and of leading them to the right path of perfection, they receive afflictions and sickness, or if they are persecuted, by which means they are tested, this test immediately shows what is hidden in their hearts, and how deeply they are corrupted by pride. They refuse to be humble, to consider themselves the lowest of all creatures, and to regard their persecutors as their good friends, the tools of the bounty shown to them and helpers in their perfection.

Thus it is clear that they are in great danger. The inner eye, that is their mind, being darkened, they see themselves with this and they see wrongly. Thinking of their external pious works and seeming them good, they imagine that they have already reached perfection and, puffing themselves up, begin to judge others. After this it is impossible for any man to turn such people. An evident sinner will turn towards good more easily than a secret sinner, hiding under the cloak of visible virtues.

Do you now see what this all means, brother? I presume that you express your readiness and are longing to reach the height of such perfection. Blessed be your zeal! But prepare yourself also for labor, sweat and struggle from your first steps on the path. You will meet in yourself as many wills as you have powers and wants, which all clamor for satisfaction. Therefore, to reach your desired aim, it is first of all necessary to stifle your own wills and finally to extinguish and kill them altogether. And in order to succeed in this, you must constantly oppose all evil in yourself and urge yourself towards good. In other words, you must ceaselessly fight against yourself and against everything that panders to your own wills, everything that incites and supports them. So prepare yourself for this struggle and this warfare and know that the crown, attainment of your desired aim, is given to none except to the valiant among warriors and wrestlers.

But if this is the hardest of all wars-since in fighting ourselves we meet the greatest opposition-victory in it is the most glorious of all. For if, inspired by fervor, you overcome and put to death your unruly passions, your lusts and wills, you will proceed steadier, than if you flog yourself till you draw blood or exhaust yourself by fasts more than any ancient hermit of the desert. And whatever effort and sacrifice you may accomplish, it will not lead you to your desired aim, if you leave your passions without attention, giving them freedom to live and act in you.

Finally, after learning what constitutes perfection and realizing that to achieve it you must wage a constant cruel war with yourself, if you really desire to be victorious in this unseen warfare and be rewarded with a crown, you must plant in your heart the following three dispositions and spiritual activities, as it were arming yourself with invisible weapons, the most trustworthy and unconquerable of all, namely: (a) never rely on “yourself” in anything; (b) strive without ceasing and; (c) remain constantly in thought.

-One should never believe in oneself or trust oneself in anything-

Not to rely on oneself is so necessary in our struggle, my beloved brother, that without this, be assured, not only with you fail to gain the desired victory, but you will be unable to resist the smallest attack of the enemy.

Since the time of the transgressions of our forefathers, despite the weakening of our spiritual and moral powers, we are wont to think very highly of ourselves. Although our daily experience very effectively proves to us the falseness of this opinion of ourselves, in our incomprehensible self-deception we do not cease to believe that we are something, and something not unimportant. Yet this spiritual disease of ours, so hard to perceive and acknowledge, is more abhorrent than all else in us, being the first offspring of our selfhood and self-love, and the source, root, and cause of all passions, and of all our downfalls and wrong-doing. It closes the very door of our mind and spirit, through which alone grace can enter, and gives this grace no way to come and dwell in a man. And so it withdraws from him. So how can grace, which comes to help and enlighten us, enter that man, what thinks of himself as something great, that he himself knows everything and needs no outside help? Those who are stricken with this passion of vainglory and self-esteem are reprimanded, saying through the prophet: ‘Woe unto them who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight.’

Yet, although expecting no good from ourselves and not relying on ourselves is a good start, we on our side must make every effort to acquire this disposition, doing all we can, all within our power. Accustom yourself to be wary and to fear the innumerable enemies whom you cannot resist even for a short time. Fear their long experience in fighting us, their cunning and ambushes, their power to assume the guise of angels of light, their countless wiles and nets, which they secretly spread on the path of your life of virtues.

If you fall into transgression, quickly turn to the realization of your weakness and be aware of it. For you are allowed to fall for the very purpose of making you more aware of your weakness, so that you may thus not only yourself learn to despise yourself, but because of your great weakness may wish to be despised also by others. Know that without such desire it is impossible for this beneficent self-disbelief to be born and take root in you. This is the foundation and beginning of true humility since it is based on realization, by experience, of your impotence and unreliability.

From this, each of us sees how necessary it is for a man to know himself, and how mercy usually leads the proud and self-reliant to this knowledge through their downfalls, justly allowing them to fall into the very sin from which they think they are strong enough to protect themselves, so as to make them see their weakness and prevent them from relying foolhardily on themselves either in this or in anything else. And I shall add another thing: if a man wants to realize his weakness from the actual experience of his life, let him, I do not say for many days but even for one day, observe his thoughts, words and actions-what he thought, what he said, what he did. He will undoubtedly find that the greater part of his thoughts, words and actions were sinful, wrong, foolish and bad. This experiment will make him understand in practice how inharmonious and weak he is in himself. And if he sincerely wishes himself well, this understanding will make him feel how foolish it is to expect anything good from himself or to rely on himself alone.

Although, as we have said, it is very important not to rely on our own efforts in this unseen warfare, at the same time, if we merely give up all hope of ourselves and despair of ourselves without having found another support, we are certain to flee immediately from the battlefield or to be overcome and taken prisoner by our enemies.